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Wednesday, 04 April 2012

  • I'm so excited!

    For what God will do.

    Tonight at Branch we're gonna go over "The Abiding Life".

    It stems (har har) from the verse "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).

    How funny that that was the verse that Chi spoke almost 10 years ago (in 2003) at a college retreat that I went to, after being away from church for about 3 years. It was the message that saved me. I may have accepted Jesus into my life before (I must have right? At all those revivals, retreats, altar calls... being saved and then rededicating my life, as if salvation was fleeting or conditional), but I can definitively pinpoint that retreat as the one that started my relationship with Christ.

    But of course, being sucked into the church life after that (serving, doing ministry,... being "religious"), I sort of lost my way for awhile.

    Then came again to the point of... is there more?

    And my answer came, not from missions (which I thought was the answer - even went to a Mission Year info meeting where we ate at Shakeys afterward) but a bible study in LA in March 2007. Exodus3 in LA. :)

    And there was more. I just had to cut all "religion" out of my life and go back to just pure gospel. Just Jesus.

    Fast forward to now. 2012. Good lord (the Lord is good...). There is so much excitement in my life right now. Not because of the obvious things (like getting married in a few months - WHOA.) but because Jesus is in me. Because I am His child. Because I am living every step of my life with CREATOR GOD in me. How amazing it would have been to be the disciples, and have Jesus walking alongside them? UM. How amazing it is to be US who has Jesus in us.

    There is no fear of failure. No mistakes to be made. All things work together for the good of those who love Him.

    There is just... excitement. What will God bring? What is in my future? And if my future is set, then how can I enjoy TODAY. This very moment? When the problems I face are very real, but the problem isn't a problem anymore when we already know the solution is taken care of. Not by my efforts or me trying REAL HARD to figure out my own life. But to live IN REST, and CONQUERING this world that is before us. To live FREAKEN BOLDLY because God of the Universe knows me, loves me, and calls me his CHILD.

    I AM SO EXCITED.

    The challenges that come? I lift it up to God who cares for me. BUT BUT. The challenges that come?! I lift it up to God who cares for me, who is working in me, who is in control, who wants the best for me, who is ALMIGHTY GOD, who LOVES ME.

    2011 started with this verse from Jeremiah 29:
    “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters."

    It was the verse that prompted our relationship. To live NOW without waiting for everything to work itself out FIRST.

    And a few verses following that? The verse we all know:
    For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

    again. I AM SO EXCITED.

    Fear might drive me to take control of my life and stress and worry and strategize about how to have SUCCESS. But then I remind myself (or I get reminded by this amazing family I have at E3) of TRUTH and the fear is gone, and I can live in EXCITED EXPECTATION of what is to come.

    I just abide. I rest and remain in Christ who is doing it through me.

Friday, 11 February 2011

  • Church

    Someone asked me yesterday, "why do you go to Exodus3?" 


    In the few moments I had between the question being asked and before my response, I went through the last 28 years of my life (I count in dog years, I'm actually just...4 years old), and thought of why I ever went to ANY church.


    Any church before college was dictated by where my parents went. But my determination of whether or not I liked it was mostly affected by:
    1. The people - cool people, cute boys.*
    2. Yeah that's it (refer back to #1) 


    *Though... the cool people actually intimidated the hell out of me... so I actually hated being around the "cool" k-town folks that would be at most of the churches I went to. I STILL feel judged and unworthy when I pass by middle-high school aged k-town kids. eeeeesh!


    During college, I stopped going to church. Not cause I didn't believe anymore or went through some, RELIGION IS BULLSHIT phase. It was mostly, I didn't want to go to my home church anymore and it wasn't a huge priority for me to find another church. 


    Without the weekly Sunday attendance to sort of reinforce my identity as a Christian, or mark my participation in this "Christian life"... I think the question I asked a lot was... "Is this it?" and "There's got to be more."


    After about 3 years of this, I went to a retreat, heard an amazing pastor speak (p.Chi!) and I got a taste of what this Christian life was supposed to be like.


    So I went back to church.


    At this point, whether or not I liked the church I attended was determined by:
     1. Whether or not the message addresses my question of, "How do I live a  good Christian life (to be more like Jesus)?"
    2. Am I surrounded by like-minded folks who will keep my accountable in my WALK?


    So for 3 or 4 years, I went to a church that did just that. I would be constantly praying, JESUS! HELP ME TO BE MORE LIKE YOUUUU! Make me patient. Make me kind. Give me self-control!!! (And followed up in the next few days by, JESUS! I SUCK!!!! Why can't I be more patient??? AHHHH!)


    And that thought came up again. "There's got to be more."


    In 2007 I came to exodus3 after hearing that the same AMAZING pastor was starting a bible study in LA!


    Right before coming to E3, I was determined to set off on a year of missions, so that I can be so surrounded and saturated by Jesus-y acts, that I can't help but to see Jesus in my everyday life. To LIVE for Christ. To see what that might be like.


    And then I had a conversation with Chi and I realized, what... I can be surrounded by Jesus,... HERE? Without going on missions??? That my everyday life and lens through which I view life would be through the reality of Jesus? That the feeling of being surrounded by Jesus won't be limited to when I'm at church?


    Amazing.


    So back to the original question.


    Why do I go to Exodus3?
    1. It's not for the people. WONDERFUL as they are (seriously, they're great), now that I know this gospel, if E3 didn't have that, I'd go elsewhere to search for it.
    2. It's not to find some application, or point-by-point sermon on "how to become more like Jesus". Can I tell you? I will always suck and do stupid things. I will always make mistakes. I will at times be impatient, unkind, unloving, and lack any self-control. 


    okayokay. SO WHY DO I GO TO EXODUS3???
    1. To hear about Jesus - what he did for me. How much he loves me. How great he is.
    2. To be reminded that, no matter how inconsistent I am, Jesus is consistent. That my worth and identity is not based on what I do, what I've done, or what I will do, but what Jesus did 2,000 years ago on the cross. 


    I LOVE my church. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Why? Because I know that EVERY SINGLE SERVICE I go to, every message I hear, any questions I ask,... it will always be JESUS.


    I'm at an age (4 years old, let me remind you), where going to church just to be surrounded by fellow Christians is NOT ENOUGH! I need the gospel. Every week. To be reminded of the GREATER reality, beyond my limited perspective of the reality that I see in my day-to-day.


    So if that is the church you're looking for, come check us out on Sundays in the OC (www.exodus3.com)... AND in LA (www.exodus3la.com), starting March 6.


    See you all there:)



Thursday, 16 September 2010

  • my tomato plant

    there's a tomato plant that i've been growing.

    actually, it's a tomato plant that my parents bought and planted in the backyard.

    i love the idea of picking my own fruit, and if its growing in my own backyard, EVEN BETTER!

    not to mention, its a tomato plant, and i LOVE tomatoes!

    so there it was.

    i would walk by it every few days in the beginning... but when little green tomatoes started coming out, OH MAN! - I would check on it everyday.

    I noticed one day that the plant was droopy. It could barely hold up its own weight.

    So I dug around the house and found some zip ties. GREEN! even better! camoflaugeeeee.

    I also found a long wooden pole that I could stake into the ground and tie the plant to.

    I pulled up each fruit-loaded stalk and tried my best to gently attach them to the pole.

    One such stalk suffered from my lack of gentleness, and off it went, along with about two handfuls of green tomatoes. To those, I attempted to make pickled green tomatoes (I tried it the other day and it wasn't bad for my first attempt at pickling!)

    The others were securely fastened. And so...I waited.

    Maybe every few days one small cherry tomato would be ready to be picked. Oh yes. I washed that small bite-sized piece of fruit, and either ate it up myself, or saved it for my parents. But only one here. Another there. And each time I reached for one, my hands would pass over the stems and be covered with the smell of tomatoes.

    I would check on it. EVERYDAY. but it brought me joy... that this was happening! Fruit! From my own backyard!

    And then. One day I went to check on it. And oh man. ABUNDANCE of fruit.

    RED everywhere!!!

    It was strange. It made me so happy, I actually had to sit down on the dirty ground, and just stare at it for a bit.

    I mean, didn't I know that this was going to happen? That all this fruit would be born, and RIPE for picking!

    Still, it made me really happy.

    And I just thought. Hey. That's exactly right.

    Me, an unskilled gardener (if you can even call me that), doing my best to tend to this plant. I raise up the drooping branches. Support it with some zip ties. And then... RED RIPE TOMATOES! And the joy I get, not just from eating the cherry tomatoes, but tending to it! That the fruit isn't the end all, be all.

    Though eventually, the fruit is there.

    Sure, even with myself... there is some patience here. Love there. Maybe a bit of kindness... JOY hanging off one or two branches. But I don't think that was ever the point. Of course when fruit is borne, it's definitely enjoyable, but in it all, I am being tended to by the BEST gardener, and One who loves me infinitely more than I could ever love that tomato plant. And there may be an abundance of FRUIT one day, or just a bunch of green tomatoes in the process of becoming ready... but either way... I am abiding, and being tended to lovingly by the gentlest of hands, and the most knowledgeable about what I need. I will rest. I will receive. I will enjoy, not just the end result, but the moment by moment abiding.


    (my actual tomato plant)

Thursday, 25 March 2010

  • the issue of sin

    the wages of sin is death - Romans 6:23

    From Matthew 5:
    v.20 - For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

    v.22 - But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.

    v.48 - Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

    and finally:
    Matthew 19
      16Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

     17"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

     18"Which ones?" the man inquired.

       Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"

     20"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

     21Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

     22When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

     23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

     25When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

     26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."



    The issue of sin...

    For those whose focus is to sin LESS, you're not taking sin seriously enough - where one sin qualifies me to be thrown into hell, even for something as small as calling a person a FOOL.

    If you believe that by sinning less, you are changing at all your standing before God... then you must also believe that there is no chance AT ALL for you to go to heaven.

    Sin is not merely "displeasing" to God, or makes God sad/disappointed/hurt/distant...
    Sin = death.

    In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus raises the bar. Sin is not just MURDER or ADULTERY, it is just a thought of hatred or of lust. The people are asked to surpass the righteousness of pharisees and teachers of the law. To be perfect as GOD is perfect.

    and in the last verse, Jesus says to the man who wants to know what he can do to enter the kingdom of heaven, that is it impossible.

    But what does he say to his disciples who ask him to explain?

    He says that with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

    What was the point of Jesus dying for our sins?

    He did what we could not. He who was perfect, took all our sins (past, present, future) and washed them away, as if they were never there. So that now in God's eyes, he sees the righteousness of Jesus in us.

    We were asked to be perfect as God is perfect. Thanks to Jesus, we are.

    We are holy, righteous, redeemed.

    Not by what WE'VE done. HELL NO! Even in writing this, I've probably sinned like ten times (okay 12, I just lied).

    There is nothing we could've done to save ourselves from what our fallen state deserved.

    We, born as sinners, deserved death. Eternal separation from God.

    But by what Jesus has done, we have Eternal LIFE with God.

    When the message is how to sin -less, we're forgetting what Jesus has done.

    If that is what we're believing, then we need to re-read what Jesus said. If our right to enter into the Kingdom of God is based on what WE can do, then we better start figuring out first the best way to squeeze a camel into the eye of a needle.

    SINNING LESS IS NOT THE MESSAGE OF CHRISTIANITY.

    THAT IS NOT THE CHRISTIAN LIFE!

    the Christian life is that I NO LONGER LIVE, BUT CHRIST LIVES IN ME.

    I don't live the Christian life. Jesus lives it through me.

    I don't try to sin -less or stop sinning! I abide in Jesus, who is the vine, and through that belief and rest, I will just carry/bear fruit that Jesus has produced in me.

    If your measure of how well you're doing spiritually is by the fact that you've managed to cross off sins x, y, and z, then KEEP TRYING MOFO. You've still get sins A-Z + AA-ZZ + AAA - ZZZ,... You'll never be done. AND let's say you manage to conquer allllllllll those, but you're still left with ZXXYN, well, sorry my friend, HELL for you. Don't matter that you've conquered all 49,562,893,999 sins. One sin = death.

    The focus of sinning less, being more loving, patient, kind, joyful, self-controlled, is the wrong focus.

    Did you know that even non-Christians try not to HATE, to be loving and generous?

    Christ did not come to make us into people who don't go partying saturday nights.

    He came to give life to us who were once dead, to be born again as a new creation, with Jesus in ME.

    The Christian life is dependence on JESUS who will live through us.

    Believing that what he did on the cross means that IT IS FINISHED.

    That our sins are no longer counted against us.

    You can pat yourself on your back as much as you want for sinning less than you used to. But hey~ did you know that this doesn't make you HOLIER or BETTER than your friend over there, who continues to sin? Our holiness is based on Jesus' holiness. His holiness in US. You can't take away from that, you can't even ADD to that! What's infinity + 1? INFINITY!

    No more condemnation.

    No more freaken accountability partners to make sure you're keeping on track with that one sin you want to give up.

    If you're going to keep someone accountable, keep them accountable by reminding them who Jesus is, and what He has already accomplished on our behalf. It is the GRACE of God that teaches us to say no to ungodliness. NOT the judgment of God, or condemnation from sisters and brothers in Christ. If you want to help your friend out, point them back to Jesus. Don't point them to their sins. That does NO good. It only brings about guilt and condemnation which turns people AWAY from God. Those sins were taken away by Jesus for a reason, so that we can BOLDLY go into the presence of God, who loves us. And it is by NOTHING we've done or accomplished. It is all by what Jesus had done for us.

    When Jesus answered the man about how to enter heaven, he was simply responding to the man's question of how HE (the man) can enter heaven (What good thing must I do). Jesus gave him man's way of entering into heaven, which was by following all commandments perfectly, and doing the one thing that would be impossible for that man (the rich man) to do. By showing the impossibility of man's effort to bridge that gap between man and God, he was showing that there was only ONE way.

    Jesus (the WAY, the truth, and the life).

    There is nothing that we can do to change God's opinion of us.

    He calls us his children. His family. His friend.

    He loves us PERFECTLY. Nothing can be added or taken away from that.

    So don't try to sin LESS.
    Rest in the completed work of Jesus, MORE (make every effort to enter into that rest - Hebrews 4:11)

    Hear truth and be set free.


Tuesday, 23 February 2010

  • Let the spirit CONVICT you

    oy!

    how often I heard that during sermons...

    "If you feel CONVICTed after hearing this message,..."

    and what was the premise behind that statement?

    the definition of convict: "to convince of error or sinfulness"

    what you did is WRONG. here's what you need to do RIGHT.

    stop sinning.

    have more faith.

    be disciplined! (oy! how many times have I prayed that prayer myself??)

    but what did it change?

    it just led to guilt. because OH yes. I did TRY. I tried hard. and when I failed, I felt shame. I felt guilt. And I turned further away from God.

    I felt convicted. And that was the end of it.

    Feeling worth-less.

    Feeling like a dirty stinkin' sinner who would never change.

    The TRUTH?

    yes... we were once CONVICTS (guilty of wrong-doing).

    But we are now HOLY, RIGHTEOUS, REDEEMED. Perfect.

    It's funny. I get so excited about this gospel. This good news! One small part of me thinks, why do I write this over and over? I've said it before.

    But oh man. Who can stop hearing good news?

    The verse that's been repeating over and over in my head since a few weeks ago, when Daniel shared his amazement at that verse as we sat at El Taurino, is John 1:14 - The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.

    From that day on, I couldn't stop thinking of all that it meant.

    No! Hey you! Don't stop reading! I know you've heard that verse before, and you're thinking, yeah okay okay. Jesus is the Word. And he came down to Earth. And yeah. He became man. Yes yes. You understand, you say.

    BUT HEY! I thought I did too.

    But oh gosh. That verse has SO many dimensions, all pointing to GOSPEL.

    The Word became flesh.

    To me it meant, fulfillment.

    In Matthew 5:17 - Jesus says, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."

    Luke 4:17-21 - Jesus who is the fulfillment of Sabbath - A time of REST. where debts are erased, those who were imprisoned go free, and there is CELEBRATION.

    Everything in the Old Testament. The laws that pointed to our need for a savior. The covenant, where Abraham slept, and God did it all. The ark at rest on Mt. Ararat on the 17th day. SABBATH. Jubilee! Passover! EVERYTHING EVERYTHING.

    all in one man.

    JESUS.

    The Word (all that was to be done) became FLESH. All of it, embodied in one man. JESUS.

    JESUS!!!!!!

    whew. take a breath.

    and that's not all, is it?

    The law pointed to our need for a savior.

    To enter the presence of God, who is infinitely holy. Even a lifetime of Mother Teresa moments, dying to self, celibacy,...everything that can be humanly done to be holy, could NEVER EVER fill the chasm that separates us from God's holiness. NOTHING! If we think that we just need to try harder to be more like Jesus (WWJD?), to be accepted, to be looked upon with a loving gaze from holy God, then we are WRONG! A smidgen of sin, a tiny, atom sized momentary THOUGHT of sin, is enough to send down the wrath of God. Sin doesn't make God displeased... it makes him EFFIN angry!

    So thank GOD we have a savior. Jesus, who died for ALL our sins, so that we can enter into  the presence of God with CONFIDENCE (Hebrews 4:16; 10:19-22) We boast not in ourselves, but in the finished work of Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9).

    And the Word became flesh?

    Jesus?

    Let's imagine now, how amazing Jesus is. That he is the CHRIST - the one that the Israelites were waiting for - priest, prophet, king, judge. ALL of that.

    And everything that Jesus is - (Jesus who is the exact representation of God - Hebrews 1:3) Holy, perfect, LOVE, RIGHTEOUS... all of that. In me. (Colossians 1:27)

    Can you believe that?

    The Word became flesh.
    and now... He lives in you.

    The message is not to convict.

    It is to proclaim GOSPEL. News that is SO good, that we can't help but worship. We can't help but TRUST. We can't help but ENJOY our rest in the FINISHED work of the cross. We can't help but to spend each moment with such joy knowing who our Father is, and who we are in Him. We can't help but to put aside all the "goods" and turn to the BEST.

    It is not about what we are doing wrong. If the message is simply that - we look to ourselves to be our own savior, and by our own effort we try to change. But we need to realize the impossibility of it, to see that there is only one way. JESUS. He who has done it all. And if we believe that, if we realize that - we live as Jesus did. Abiding in Him. And He will live through us. We will bear the fruit of that abiding.

    We were created to be one with God. Because of sin, we were separated from God, and life (=God) that was breathed into us, departed. All the "B.C." of time was looking forward to Jesus. Jesus who would do it all, so that we would be holy (able to freely enter the presence of God), ALIVE (eternally), and one with Him. Our old identity (as children of Satan) died on the cross; we were born again with our new identity, as children of God.

    John 1:14 - The Word became flesh and made his dwelling (TEMPLE) among us.


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